My name is Holden, a name uncommon
A name hiding in rows of coffee mugs and tags in shops
But it remains not a name unfamiliar
Of an angsty character within popular novels
A name I regret, a desire to unimagine
A legacy of false hopes and missed opportunities
A name, no matter how defined, undesired
You'll feel like an outcast, such feelings will be confirmed
A name without a heart intact or unbroken
One changes your life for the better then leaves you to
Rot, consciousness feeling undone
Detached from your mind, but it is still a hollow, hollow
Shell, pounding on my chest, unsure
Whether or not I have any organs or bones inside me
All of my future remains undreamed
Whether it be sleepless nights or dreamless twelve hour resting
But it seems the waking world is me unawake
And sometimes I feel like I just need to wake myself up
And remove this life of unrest
Nice word choice. My favorite part was how you said you just need to wake up
ReplyDeleteThat's pretty deep Holden
ReplyDeleteyour poem was very interesting but I like how you said "And sometimes I feel like I just need to wake myself up"
ReplyDeleteI like that the word choice was different that anybody else's. The tone was as well. However, you could tell that it was yours the voice was clear. It was really good.
ReplyDeleteI like how you said "A name hiding in rows of coffee mugs and tags in shops" it's very creative.
ReplyDeleteWow really deep and meaningful word choice
ReplyDeleteVery interesting, I like the style of your writing in "....but it is a hollow,hollow
ReplyDeleteShell..."
I like your poem. Specifically, the lines "but it seems the waking world is me unawake."
ReplyDeleteI like how vivd you describe your feelings as if they actually affect your organs and body and then you change and say you need to remove this.
ReplyDeleteI liked how your poem has a lot of meaning behind it.
ReplyDeleteI like how put your emotions and feeling Into your poem
ReplyDelete